Feminism Has Blinded the Eyes of the Beholder

Posted on July 7, 2011 by

When a woman turns 40 and her husband thinks an appropriate way to celebrate the milestone is to have her portrait taken because she is so beautiful, the truth of the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” becomes clear. Beauty, what it is or isn’t, is as much about the one looking as it is the one being looked upon.

Nevertheless, physical beauty is considered largely objective and I tend to agree. There are certain markers, if you will, that are universally and scientifically acknowledged as attractive:

Facial attractiveness is the product of several factors.  For example, signals of overall health such as shiny hair, clear eyes, and smooth skin are important in assessing attractiveness.  In addition, symmetry plays an important role; and in adults, sex-hormone markers are key factors.

For both males and females of any age, and across all cultures, people have a strong preference for symmetrical faces.  The smaller the departure from symmetry, the more attractive a face is judged.  Similarly, there is a general preference for features of average size and shape, with extremes in either direction being undesirable.

Female sex-hormone markers are the traits that are influenced by the presence of estrogen.   Furthermore, estrogen leads to enlarged lips and upper cheek area as a result of fat deposits. Estrogen is also responsible for widening the hips, and fat deposits on the thighs, buttocks and breasts, features found attractive by adult males.

But there’s a kicker, and if a woman lives a long life, she can’t outrun it. The features that make a woman stunning at age 16 or 20 or even 30, are temporary. She can prolong her good looks with good health and habits but there comes a point, sans spending a fortune on plastic surgery, when the jig is up. That beauty fades is a universal truth. Hollywood’s obsession with youth and beauty has infected us all in some ways, but the reality of the shelf-life of female beauty is acknowledged even within Scripture. We religious, traditional women are in a race against time as well, but we can hedge our bets. A woman of virtue will be praised. And marriage is the best possible context in which to cultivate the kind of virtue that makes a woman beautiful beyond description in the eyes of at least one man.

The fallout of sex positivism and feminism has done the greatest disservice to women of advancing age and average (or less) physical attractiveness. Discouraging female virtue and encouraging selfishness has ushered in an entire generation of women who find themselves involuntarily single, with fertility waning and looks fading fast. Some will be fortunate and find a mate with whom to build a life and legacy strong enough to make them beautiful as the years progress. Increasing numbers however, will not.

The sexual and egalitarian utopia feminism promised has marginalized large numbers of women and made equality more elusive than ever in the arena that matters the most to most women.  Pornography, widespread birth control, and abortion on demand have turned our culture into a sexual amusement park where only the most stunning attractions receive any attention. While it has probably always been true that the most beautiful women have received the most advantage, it was also true that the plainest Jane would be the apple of at least one man’s eye, and through a lifetime of commitment and fidelity,would  experience the depth and meaning of having her beauty increase in his estimation even as the years chipped away at her youth.

No matter how hard the media pushes the meme on women that they can have it all because they’re worth it and deserve to have it all regardless of character and virtue, it will never be true. Women are being programmed to believe they’re perfect just the way they are, no personal effort required. Parents encourage the nonsense. Further, they’re told to hold out for the perfect man while flitting around the sexual amusement park, riding anything that tickles their fancy and somehow Prince Charming will see the beauty that lies within, sweep them off their feet, and live happily ever after.

Someone needs to tell them it ain’t gonna happen. It may as well be me. It ain’t gonna happen for most and it’s wrong of society to encourage its girls to spend their most beautiful and energetic years indulging every whim of their base nature and expect some guy to be thrilled to get whatever is left after they’ve gotten bored and want to experience the novelty of childbirth. It’s equally wrong for men to do the same. The bond of having grown up from young adulthood with the love and commitment of one mate was something most of our grandparents were blessed to experience. Our world is infinitely poorer with the loss of these examples of love and selflessness.

There is a freedom that comes with having a loving husband who makes you feel beautiful. It’s different than just “looking good for your age”, although I do. It’s a truer kind of beauty. There’s less pressure to conform to a cultural standard of beauty when you’ve learned what makes one man tick and can concentrate your efforts on that. It’s a freedom that few women will experience in this current social and sexual environment.

I thought this feminist social experiment was supposed to liberate women from feeling inferior? Seems it has done just the opposite.

Posted in: Relationships