The new LTR sex survey is out

Posted on July 16, 2011 by

The new Kinsey Report has been published, and it tells us some interesting things about long-term relationships (LTRs, mostly marriage). The report states:

The present study examined couples in a committed relationship where the men were between 39 and 70 years (median, 55) and their female partners between 25 and 76 years (median, 52) from Brazil, Germany, Japan, Spain, and the U.S. On average, these were long term relationships with 50% of them more than 25 years in duration (only 5% were together 7 years or less).

The highlights:

  • Women reported significantly more sexual satisfaction than men, and men more relationship happiness than women, contrary to the original hypothesis.
  • Men need more physical intimacy (cuddling, holding hands, kissing, etc.) than women, and care more about their partner’s sexual satisfaction.
  • Both men and women are more satisfied with frequent than infrequent sex.
  • Women are generally happier when they have it unusually often, men are less happy.
  • Men become happier as the relationship progresses. Women report the same, but with lower overall happiness in each year.
  • For women, sexual satisfaction improves greatly with relationship duration. For men, it stays about the same throughout, but also increases over time.
  • Men don’t seem to care as much as women about the quality of sex (erection, duration, lubrication, orgasm, etc.), but their sexual satisfaction declines more sharply with each increase in their number of lifetime partners.

So what does this all imply about the types of people in LTRs?

  • Most married people are satisfied with their relationship and their sex life.
  • Japanese men and women are more sexually satisfied in their marriages than US men and women.
  • Men are more sexually giving than women, and they like having sex with their aging wives.
  • Sex is better when you do it more often with the same person. Practice makes perfect.
  • Men value the relationship more, and women the sex more. This implies that marriage is an institution that should be protected primarily for the sake of men and children, rather than for women (as was previously assumed). This matches the results from other recent surveys, which imply that marriage is more valued by men than by women, now that women can get sex (and money) elsewhere.
  • Physical intimacy and sexual exclusiveness is more important for men’s relationship happiness and sexual satisfaction than for women. Perhaps it is that men’s ability to bond is weaker and wears down faster with misuse.
  • Promiscuous women are much less likely to marry than promiscuous men, but those that do marry don’t seem to suffer as much sexually from their previous experience. Horny women like to have sex, and that doesn’t appear to wear down with experience, as women’s sexual satisfaction is linked mostly to sexual function rather than intimacy. Perhaps promiscuous women are also more successful at choosing good lovers than promiscuous men.
  • Men married to women with very high libidos are not happier than men married to women with average libidos, and they suffer from a lack of other forms of physical intimacy. They are also probably more stressed for “performance” as they age, and their wife’s libido increases further, while theirs decreases.
  • Women’s sexual happiness has more to do with their children than their husband.
  • Sex really does “get better” for married women… and for married men.
  • If you read between the lines a bit, there’s an implication that “cuddly” (beta?) men are more likely to get and stay married, and are having more and better sex than is often assumed.
Posted in: Relationships