You might be a traditionalist if…

Posted on August 23, 2011 by

Here is a rerun of the popular:

Litmus Test of True Traditionalism

  1. You are a White Angle-Saxon Protestant, or a Catholic who pretends to be one.
  2. You believe in white hegemony, and are irritated that black people are acting so “uppity” nowadays.
  3. You distrust Catholics because they aren’t racist enough and take their religion stuff too seriously.
  4. You believe in moral relativity and that “white makes right”.
  5. You think women who dress in form-revealing clothing are whores.
  6. You think women who aren’t virgins when they marry are whores.
  7. You think women who marry someone of a different race are whores.
  8. You think women who date are whores.
  9. You think women who wear pants, short skirts, or make-up are whores.
  10. You think women who work outside of the home are feminists. And whores, of course.
  11. You think men are animals who are foaming at the mouth and can barely contain themselves from raping every woman who walks by with her clavicles or ankles showing. Especially white women. Especially if the men aren’t white.
  12. You think wifely submission means that every wife does what you tell her to do, instead of listening to her own husband.
  13. You are frigid, asexual, or just plain prudish.
  14. You are frigid, asexual, or prudish and you do not realize that you are.
  15. You think flirting, joking around, or any other form of levity is sinful.
  16. You think alcohol is the Devil’s Drink and that married people should never, ever have any fun.
  17. Funerals are your idea of a good time. Funerals and barn raisings.
  18. You don’t engage in popular culture because it is a work of the devil.
  19. You don’t dance because dancing is an occasion to sin.
  20. You don’t have sex standing up, because it might lead to dancing.
  21. You romanticize the Victorian or Americana eras and think “everything was better then”.
  22. You know for sure that NAWALT (Not All Women Are Like That).
  23. You think everyone should follow your traditions, because their traditions suck.
Posted in: Religion