The Patriarch

Posted on August 24, 2011 by


Since we’ve been on a relationship kick lately, I thought we might want to go ahead and finally define the basic traits of the Patriarch (Christian Alpha). This list will look a bit different than the secular ones, of course, as patriarchs aren’t generally preoccupied with chasing skirts. No, the patriarch is similar to the secular alpha in his sexual attractiveness, but there’s more to it than that. Rather than a notch-count, the patriarch is recognizable through a different set of traits.

So… let’s define and discuss. I’ll go first.

You might be a patriarch if…

  1. Your women seek your approval and admiration, wish to please you, and find you slightly intimidating. They put effort into their appearance and tailor their behavior and speech for your sake, and are inclined to agree with your opinions. These “women” aren’t limited to those you are in a sexual relationship with. Rather, your influence carries over to all women within your sphere: your sister, mother, coworkers, female friends, etc.
  2. Your wife wants to have your children and/or dedicate her life to serving your interests.
  3. Your wife enjoys having sex with you and supplies you with a regular source for it. She is inclined to offer you sexual favors that women generally find distasteful, cumbersome, painful, or even immoral.
  4. Your wife thinks you’re attractive and assumes that all other women feel the same way. She struggles a bit with jealousy and is sometimes concerned about abandonment.
  5. You have a watchful and proprietary manner toward your women. When you are walking down a crowded street, you constantly scan the environment, and make sure to keep them safe. Even little things like making sure that they walk on the side away from the street, holding them behind you when plowing through a crowd, reminding them to watch their step, or opening heavy or awkward doors.
  6. Your wife is inclined to keep you informed of her whereabouts and activities, and to ask for your opinion and advice on things she could easily decide on her own. She is reluctant to make a larger purchase or a major decision without consulting you first.
  7. If you have children, you are interested and involved in their education and upbringing. You are protective of them and concerned about their moral and physical development. They think you are wise and come to you for advice.
  8. Your wife openly admits that you “wear the pants” in the family, and is even slightly proud of it. She mocks men who are wife-lead and disapproves of other wives’s disobedience or betrayal.
  9. You are the political and religious leader in your home.

That’s all I could think of now. Any more?

Posted in: Relationships