Custody battle in real-time

Posted on September 1, 2011 by

I don’t know if anyone else has been following this, but Welmer has been blogging about his family’s custody battle lately. Apparently, his ex-wife is relocating to Canada with her adulterous lover and was attempting to take his children with him, and reduce his access to them. He documented the entire processes through the courts, and I am happy to inform everyone that she has failed in part. Yes, she may move. No, she may not separate him from his children.

I can’t say I’m thrilled about the outcome, but given the circumstances and the reality in family law, it wasn’t half bad. Aside from the fact that my kids will be fairly far away much of the time, what bothers me most is the idea of having to drive an extra 5-10 hours a month during the school year. It could have been a lot worse; it’s actually better in some ways than my current situation, in that I’ll have more quality, stress-free time with the kids, and they’ll have more time with the extended family here in Seattle.

Now, for those who have never been through this, here’s the lesson:

If you put effort into staying with your kids and stick to your guns, you can usually do it. Yes, the deck is still stacked against men, and it’s a pain in the rear, but the days of sole maternal custody and discretion are drawing to an end. Furthermore, many of the presumptions that favor mothers run up against the emerging consensus that fathers and children do, in fact, have the right to substantial time with each other, and create logistical problems that make unilateral decisions on the part of mothers less attractive — women are now having to bear some of the costs of their choices as well.

Posted in: Relationships