Why I don’t care about gays, guppies, and Gomez

Posted on September 3, 2011 by


I write mostly about faith, economics, and marriage (including children). There’s a reason for that: they’re the things that matter most to me, in my real life. My general impression is that a lot of traditionalists waste their time obsessing over Topics that Don’t Really Matter (TDRM).

The TDRM of our time

These are things that I don’t really care about. I put up a post every once in a while, so that we can chit-chat about it, but I don’t think anymore about it afterward, and worrying about it doesn’t keep me up at night. Really. Who cares?

Do I care if you think we descended from another species or not? No, frankly, I don’t. I really couldn’t care less. I don’t even know what else to write about this here because I care so little. As Vox Day put it, “his opinion on the age of the planet and the origin of the species is probably somewhere around number 345,732 on my list of concerns.” Yup. What he said. Whatever.

Do I care about “gay marriage”? In all honesty… not really. I’d vote against it, but I don’t see it as something to get worked up over. If civil marriage has sunk to such a level that heterosexual sex and natural procreation aren’t even assumed to have anything to do with it, then it’s dead as a doornail and we should just go ahead and bury it. It’s no longer a topic because it’s no longer an institution. It’s just a piece of paper. Why are people fighting over a piece of paper?

How about this? How about we just issue a marriage license to every person in the country preemptively, and then they have to opt out of it. That would simplify the whole process, I think. Everyone should get a marriage license and a social security number. Or we could do the same thing we do with money, and just dump boxes full of marriage licenses from helicopters onto the general populace. Then we’d have population growth and economic growth, and social justice all around. I can’t believe no one else has thought of this before!

Do I care about immigration? Umm… no. The fact that girls are going to get hounded by guys named Gomez, rather than seduced by guys named George, strikes me as a merely moderate worsening of the present catastrophic situation. That’s like asking if I’d rather be raped by a white man or a Mexican man. You know…. I’d rather just not be raped, thanks for asking.

Besides, Gomez might be Christian, whilst George might be a hedonist. Rather than lose sleep over Gomez coming in, I’m wondering if it might be possible to export George to Mexico.

Fighting ninja turtles

I suppose the reason that I think these things are TDRM is because I no longer feel like part of the society. I’ve cut myself off from most popular media, I’m out of the loop, I’m not part of that crowd. Their behavior and interests are so beyond me now, that it seems like they live on a different planet.

So I look at what is going on in the larger society as if they were turtles in an aquarium. Insane, rabid, violent, drug-addled, fornicating turtles. Rather than engage with the turtles, my instinct is to put up a barbed-wire fence to keep the turtles out of my life.

For now, I’m watching my worthless money become more worthless, observing my Church start to wake up from its feminine fantasies, and working diligently on preserving my marriage and raising my children. These are the things that matter to me, while I watch the world burn down around me. You’re welcome to join me here though. Plenty of room in my Church for anyone who would like to escape the aquarium.

Turtles be crazy, man.

Posted in: Religion