News Roundup

Posted on September 10, 2011 by

This time, with actual news. 😉

  • Everyone waits to see if Greece will default this weekend. The IMF is gearing up to bail out the entire developed world, which means that the IMF (funded by American and European taxpayers) is preparing to bail out private Western banks (which hold the funds of American and European taxpayers) and Western central banks (which are capitalized by American and European taxpayers). Yeah… that’ll work.
  • A second German hawk (Stark, the first was Weber) at the ECB abandons the board. He is expected to be replaced by a German dove. Expect more ECB resignations soon as everyone realizes that the euro is dead, and that Angela Merkel will soon be kicked out of office for impoverishing her people for generations. Time to tell Germany’s Iron Lady that we want our money back!
  • We are currently observing the most rapid consumption of wealth the world has ever seen. To celebrate, President Obama has proposed we consume it even more rapidly — and send even more of our wealth to China — by throwing dollar bills out of helicopters creating jobs. Because he cleverly named it a “jobs bill”, rather than a “stimulus bill”, Republicans will agree to it.
  • The rest of America slowly begins to wake up to the reality of the Great Recession, after insisting that we were in the midst of a Recovery Summer.
  • Egypt, Libya, and Syria continue to burn. No one is surprised. I won’t bother with linkage because nobody really cares anymore.
  • America gears up to celebrate its national day of mourning tomorrow.
  • Another Japanese minister bites the dust, in a continuation of the governmental churn that has been chronic there since the last tsunami. The venerable people of this land have finally woken up to the terrible reality that everyone now buys Chinese electronics, so they are now screwed because they’re too old and rich to make cheap iPads, and they are simply no longer going to tolerate the additional screwiness of poisoned water and glowing cabbage. Why add insult to injury?
  • The news media is beginning to notice the plundering of Africa by the Chinese, while the AP reports on the Black Gold Rush ongoing in North Dakota.
  • Vietnam contemplates its rapidly increasing divorce rate. Apparently, they have money in their pocket and have become aware of the fact that young women are a hot commodity in a country that prefers sons. It turns out that those sons prefer young women.
  • Here’s a thought: Will some of those lonely Chinamen in Africa start plundering other booty? I’m sure that will go down well with the natives.