How the Manosphere made me miserable

Posted on November 4, 2011 by

In a recent post on IMF, Frost notes that the Men’s Rights Movement doesn’t give men very good advice on women. Not as bad as the typical advice, but wrong because of the lack of nuance and the denial of the fact that NAMALT (not all men are like that).

In a similar vein, I’d like to take issue with the Manosphere in general. According to the Manosphere, every married woman, or woman intent upon marriage, fits the following mold:

  • She’s frigid and regularly refuses physical intimacy, especially sex.
  • She’s spendthrift and a shopaholic.
  • She’s mean and self-centered, and doesn’t care about her husband’s well-being at all.
  • She’s stupid and ignorant, and is therefore a bore and someone no man would want to spend his free time with.
  • She’s bossy and treats her husband like a chump.
  • She’s irreligious or only superficially religious, and Biblical arguments hold no sway with her.
  • She’s hard-headed and disobedient.
  • She unattractive to her husband, and he only has sex with her because he has no other legitimate option.
  • She’s intent upon divorce, and will run to the lawyer as soon as her husband displeases her in any way.

Now, when I first encountered the Manosphere, I was quite sure that NAWALT (not all women are like that), and that I was an exception to this apparent feminine standard. But I was quickly disavowed of this notion. No, all women were really like that, and if I were more introspective then I’d discover and purge myself of these inner demons, to the best of my limited ability.

Hearing this over and over, and repetition quickly mimicking truth, I realized that they were right all along! Gosh, how could I not see that my happy husband was actually a miserable chump? So, I set about fixing that. Some of the advice was good, but most of it was awful, and my husband and I grew increasingly miserable.

Thanks for nothing, Manosphere.

Posted in: Relationships