Because being cheap is getting expensive

Posted on January 5, 2012 by


I’m so tired of “fellatio chic”, where models insist on having their mouth hanging open in every photograph. This noughties penchant is even a step-down from the “drug addict chic” of the nineties, and it’s become the de facto facial expression used to sell everything from children’s snow suits to soup tureens.

Really? If I buy your down jacket I’ll also look like a worn-out prostitute? Oh, goody. Or is it just that your plasticized model has had so much work done on her face that her lips don’t close anymore and smiling would make her eyebrows crack?

Erm… thanks, but no thanks. Try aiming your products at women who aren’t pathetically desperate for attention. Women whose vocabulary extends beyond, “I don’t know why he doesn’t call back.” The pornification of all media is so dull. It’s so… last year. Cute is in, hot is out.

How about selling your products using someone with a facial expression like this:

A face that says, “Don’t use me up and toss me out. I’m cute, I’m smart, I’m easy to get along with. I bake great brownies. I’m attractive, but not easy. I’d be a great mommy and you can trust me with your wallet.” Times are hard and money’s short. We’re not giving it away for free anymore, so we’re not interested in advertising what we’re not selling.

Tip to marketing: Wake up. It’s 2012 and the women sporting the porno look won’t have money to buy your stuff. They’re all going on food stamps now.

Posted in: Relationships