Ever heard this line before? I’m sure you have. In fact, as embarrassed as I am, I’ll admit to having said it. Let’s not forget the other sentence it’s typically joined with: “I have a lot of guy friends,” or “I get along better with men.” What exactly does this mean?
Throughout my friendships and dealings with people, I’ve learned that some just don’t play well with others because they don’t want to. Some people don’t play well with others because of personality issues. But, there is often a bridge connecting the divide and most people are able to make that connection.
Then, there are some people who don’t want to play because they think they are “special.”
Some of these special people are the women who say, “I don’t get along with women,” and then boast about their male friends. Sometimes these women believe if they cannot get along with most women, women in general are not worth their time. In other words, they are above women. I know that sounds bizarre, but conduct some observations. Some of these women are merely voicing their frustrations with the lack of female companionship and have given up. But many of these women just don’t think it’s worth their time and energy to seek out other like-minded women who might have something to offer.
One of the reasons why I am critical of this is due to learning from foolishness on my own part. I once thought women in general weren’t worth my time because I was frustrated with a lot of the “feminine” behaviors I encountered– excessive drama, catty competitiveness, vapid conversations, etc. Is this a legitimate concern? Yes. Is this a legitimate reason for dismissing the possibilities of female friendships? No, it’s quite silly.
There are also concerns with women who brag about their plethora of male friends. It is a concern to men because there is always the chance that one of them might become attracted to you. It’s also a sign of masculine competitiveness. Is a man going to pursue a woman for a serious romantic relationship if she has many male friends? Especially if said woman spurns female friendships?
More important, scripture instructs women to minister to each other in all stages of life. Women should not be so proud to believe that they can’t learn from another woman. Of course, there is nonsense, and then there is principled and scriptural truth. If a woman does have sage insight to share, discern and learn. If a woman automatically dismisses insight, what kind of attitude does this reflect about said person?
I say, beware of the woman who touts “I don’t get along with women” as a badge of honor, because it is not. It is strange that some women have a sense of pride or have the need to proclaim this characteristic. Eschewing the same sex and claiming that you simply cannot connect with them or heed anything they say is making yourself a special snowflake. Just because women in general are difficult to trust and get along with, does not entitle one to reject all female friendships. Do not quickly assume there is nothing to be learned and developed from women. The women who believe that they are too precious of a jewel to even give other women the time of day are to be approached with caution.
Even if this post offends you, I ask: If you are a woman and you go about your ENTIRE LIFE distrusting women as an absolute and not seeking out relationships with quality women, what does that do to your femininity? Do you care about your femininity? If you don’t, you should, and ask men why.