As a woman who has always considered herself a “plain Jane” I never had much use for modesty. That was the pretty girls problem, I thought to myself. They are the ones who men seem to salivate over. It is their knee-caps and clavicles that are the occasions of sin. Men don’t fall over themselves for me so I considered myself excused from all that silly modesty talk. I’d wear my short-shorts and spaghetti straps with careless abandon.
Eventually I came to the realization that I was not exempt from the modesty rules. For one, modesty isn’t merely about protecting men from the sin of lust. It is symbolic of Christian purity. Also..in our culture of pajama bottoms and messy hair, just being well dressed can make a plain girl kinda cute.
Our clothes carry a message and it might not be the message we hope to convey. For instance, we could wear a red mini-skirt and think we are communicating “I like the color red” but the massive exposure of thigh flesh says “come and get it”. It doesn’t even really matter how great our thighs are. They could be unshaven and full of cellulite but just the fact that we are willing to show them sends the message that we like our fleshy bits to be seen. The man must wonder what other fleshy bits we are willing to share.
Other than avoiding the messages we don’t want to send we ought to consider the messages we do want to send. Do we want to be seen as classy or lazy? Do we want to seem pure or jaded; apathetic or spirited?
Going back to the issue of lust, we do want to be charitable to our brothers in Christ who are trying to remain chaste in mind and body. To the plain girls- I can almost guarantee you that someone out there finds you attractive. While PUA types harp on how beauty is objective it is pretty clear to anyone with two eyes and a brain that attraction is not that objective. People can be attracted to all kinds of crazy things (furries and inanimate objects spring to mind).If you think you are plain it is possible that you are underestimating your attractiveness, but even if you aren’t it is likely that someone out there would gladly spend some naked time with you if given the chance. Maybe because he has a fetish for plain girls, or maybe because of your charming personality. Or maybe, as Benjamin Franklin remarked, because women are all basically the same from the waist down..old or young, plain or pretty.
An article on modesty wouldn’t be complete without issuing a word of warning. Please don’t over-do it. You need not wear a tent in order to be modest. You want to communicate femininity and understated sexuality. Leave the denim rompers to the little girls.