Tuning out rather than moving out

Posted on November 29, 2012 by

We’ve been discussing at The Orthosphere whether it’s best to move to a more conservative region or to simply attempt to regroup where you are. Maybe moving house, but not moving states. I tend to favor the latter. I currently live in Maryland, which is one of the most liberal states in the country, but I’ve managed to settle down in a conservative Catholic enclave where I can raise my children in relative peace and tranquility.

This is similar to how the Orthodox Jews and devout Muslims behave here, so I would like to analyze their habits for Christian (and especially Catholic) use:

1) Wear distinctive clothing.

This is something orthodox Christians can easily adopt. Around here, it’s enough for the women to just wear long skirts or dresses, grow their hair out or cover it, and wear a cross or crucifix around their neck. It doesn’t matter as much for men, as they’re usually at work or with their families, so they’re identifiable by proxy.

The goal of this isn’t so much to identify each other though (you eventually know each other by face, so that’s not that important), but to just look weird and slightly out of place, to put physical and social distance between yourselves and others. It makes you intimidating, as if you were wearing a uniform. People will be more polite to you, but less familiar, which is ideal.

2) Educate your children together and limit socialization with others.

Homeschooling cooperatives and private schooling are the traditional methods for this. Catholic schools are only worth it in heavily Catholic areas, otherwise the schools are more of a missionary effort, and it’s better to educate them elsewhere and just bring them in for catechism classes.

Make sure the TV has no connection (or limit your channels to EWTN and such, which is similar to how Muslims only watch satellite stuff from their home countries). If you want to watch a video, rent or buy the DVD or view it online. This also spares you the worst of the commercials, which are often much worse than the actual programming.

No radio except Christian-friendly channels. Carefully monitor internet usage and things like magazines and newspapers.

3) Frequent only Christian doctors, professionals, and businesses.

Go out of your way to do this, even if you have to pay a higher price. Favor Christians when hiring and firing, and try to give them “the hook up” whenever possible. If you’re looking for a plumber, check the back of your weekly church newsletter for advertisements. If you run a business, give a “friendly discount” to your fellow church members. (Christians are currently THE ONLY GROUP that doesn’t do this, out of a false sense of fairness.)

4) Do not send your child away to college, unless it is a VERY conservative college.

And even then, you’re taking major chances. It’s a zoo out there. Educate them within driving distance of your home or your relatives’ houses and focus on trades. Not only are the trades less politically-influence and don’t saddle your children with onerous student debt, they are also much more transportable, which might become important later.

5) Marry your daughters off relatively young (18-25).

Give them plenty of opportunity to meet young men from your society as soon as they hit 16, without dating. At least if she gets knocked up at 18, it’ll be by a boy from your church that you can guilt/threaten into marrying her as soon as he finishes his education. This is where a lot of Christians get it wrong, as they focus too much on separating the sexes and not enough on pairing them up.

If you sense that one of your children isn’t that interested in sex (a cause for rejoicing, if there ever was one), steer them early into discerning a religious vocation, so that they don’t end up fornicating just because they don’t know what else to do with their free time and can’t imagine a future other than marriage.

6) Eat distinctive foods. This helps socially isolate you, and lends a distinctive cultural flair to your meals. Try baking or cooking something special on the various holidays. Eat fish on Fridays.

7) Keep tradition, including all of the stuff that the Protestants jettisoned as superfluous.

A stripped-down religion leaves open the opportunity for filling your life with secular/pagan crap. Celebrate the Saint’s days, attend daily Mass, have the women cover in the Real Presence (if nothing else, it keeps them busy fiddling with head-scarves and shopping for pretty lace), abstain from meat on Fridays, fast regularly (fasting is an all-consuming pastime), pray an evening rosary and read the liturgical excerpts over breakfast, listen to Catholic radio, volunteer at the soup kitchen, etc. etc. etc. Half of wickedness is the result of boredom.

Posted in: Religion