This is the world’s smallest violin…

Posted on May 7, 2013 by

I have a confession to make.

I don’t care about helping women obtain safe abortions. Really, we should make abortions as unsafe as possible in order to discourage women from having them. I’m not a big fan of the death penalty, but life imprisonment seems about fair.

Think about it. Do we care if a burglar gets shot while he robs a house? What about a rapist getting his head bashed in flagrante delicto? So why all of the tears shed while a murderess dies in her attempt to murder someone? It’s completely illogical. Why aren’t we locking these women up for being… you know… criminals? At best, they should be able to claim “temporary insanity” and spend the rest of their lives under psychiatric treatment within a rubber room. Keep them away from polite society, please.

Why do so many get off scott-free when they’ve just hired a hit man to dismember somebody? I mean… Oh my God! Imagine if someone had dismembered you and everybody was fretting over whether your executioner had accidentally cut his finger with the ax? Or crying tears and marching in support of a poor rapist who contracted HIV from his victim?

If you try to push someone off of a cliff, and accidentally fall off yourself, wouldn’t we all just consider that Providence? Wouldn’t you be grateful that evil is often repaid in kind?

I know, I know. But Vanessa… pregnancy is soooo haaaard!