I’m currently experiencing a problem of biblical proportions.
I’m so sick of reading the Bible. I can’t talk about it with anyone IRL because the Bible-readers will all be horrified because I’m a godless heathen now, and the non-Bible readers will just be confirmed in their suspicions that it’s not worth reading anyway.
It’s not that I don’t value the Bible or see it as a fount of wisdom and truth, it’s just that I’ve read, discussed, read, analyzed, read, debated, read, taught, and read it so many times that I’m now just like, “Oh, not again!” I read it at my women’s prayer group. I read it with my children for homeschool. I read it at catechism class. And then I sit down to read it on my own and just can’t even bring myself to open it.
Mostly, I’m just really tired right now because my life is chaotic and I hardly get any sleep, so when I open up my Bible, the words just swim in front of me and I regularly nod off. Like, I just start snoozing right there, on the couch, with the Good Book for a lap-warmer.
I try reading it in the morning, but I’m too stressed-out to focus. I try reading it in the afternoon, but I’m too worn out to focus. I try reading it at night, but zzzzzz…
I keep telling myself that I just need to make time for it. I write it on a schedule and then purposefully ignore the schedule. I’m not ignoring God, I just… I just… I just really want to read other stuff right now. M’kay?
And the fact is, I don’t even read anything else. I punish my no-Bible-reading self by deciding to read the Bible first. So, I don’t read the Bible first, and then I never even get around to not-reading other things. I’ve got fantastic non-fiction books just piling up in my literary traffic-jam, with their due dates fast approaching, but I feel totally guilty reading them.
Well, no more. I’m taking a Bible-reading hiatus. I’m going to read a bunch of other stuff, and then I’m going to go back to my regular Bible study. Maybe things will be better this summer, when I’m not in any groups or classes anymore and start craving the Word, rather than feeling like the Word is my day job.