You might be a patriarch if:
- You cultivate the True faith and pass it on to your progeny
- You have a sense of honor and are prepared to protect the honor of your family.
- People are glad to see you – if they’re doing what they ought to be doing…
- And they dread seeing you if they’re not doing what they ought to be doing
- You’re having sex with a beautiful woman, but without the regret that comes with playing PUA.
- The aforementioned beautiful woman -your wife- makes you your favorite foods, on a regular basis.
- She also isn’t engaged in a battle for authority with you but submits, and enjoys it more often than not
- She actually cares what you think and wants to please you.
- Your wife and children seek to improve themselves out of respect and appreciation for you
- Your headship cultivates a character of obedience (holiness), not merely performance (fear)
- You lead with resolve and refuse to give way to fear and capitulation rather than doing what’s right
- Other men look to you for advice on everything from career dilemmas to marriage troubles
- People outside of your family look to you for leadership and guidance
- You find yourself leading whether you chose to or not
- Your wife frets if she isn’t going to have dinner on the table at the right time
- You don’t have to beg your wife to sleep with you
- You have a reputation for being sensible, dignified, and sound in speech
- You do what’s right because it’s right
When we call for a return to patriarchal marriage and culture, we often fail to paint a picture of what that looks like, leaving the door open for wild and ridiculous interpretations.
I based most of this list on my husband and father, two men who have enjoyed long marriages with women who are still enamored with them and children who, while not perfect, respect and honor them. I don’t know if that qualifies me as any kind authority, but I suppose it qualifies me as something.
This is my interpretation of what a godly patriarch looks like.