Brits tell Germans they need more Lebensraum

Posted on June 13, 2013 by

Because truth is now stranger than fiction and life no longer needs a punchline, Spiegel Online is reporting that the Economist is pleading with Germany to take over the EU.

No, seriously.

According to the Anglos, if Germany could finally become more like the weaker countries in the EU, it could then take over the EU and save the EU from itself. It just needs to import massive amounts of immigrants (and actually convince a few to remain in the country), be less xenophobic and not such a bunch of Nazis, stop letting Christians interfere in the governing of its most prosperous regions, send its women off to find themselves in their jobs and in the arms of said immigrants (New slogan: Breed out the Krauts!), shoulder evermore massive public debts, and mostly just be less… German.

Germany could take over all of the EU and everyone would love them for it. If only it weren’t so horribly, disgustingly… German. Deutschland is such a nice country. If only there weren’t so many Germans in it, or the Germans would at least agree to be less Germanic, or something.

British logic.

A tip from me: Don’t take advice on governing your country from the people who hate you the most and who think the only good native is a dead native. They just might have ulterior motives. Maybe.