Because muffin top

Posted on July 14, 2013 by


It’s been at least a week since my last post on the joys of starving myself, and I know that y’all can’t get enough of that, so here’s one more top ten list of:

Things I Love About Fasting

  1. My husband doesn’t think it’s ghey. There’s something about calorie-controlled dieting that reminds everyone of skinny white women who aerobicise. (You know it’s true.)

    Fasting is manlier. It just is. My husband looks a lot like Bill Henrickson and Bill Henrickson doesn’t diet. You can tell, just by looking at him, that he doesn’t diet. When he wants to lose weight, he goes running in the morning instead of eating breakfast. Suggesting to my husband that he “go and do likewise” worked, whereas suggesting that he track points or measure food just got him to double over in hysterical laughter.

  2. I can eat whatever I want. Well, okay, I already have slightly bizarre eating habits, like a penchant for eating burgers without the bun, but now I’m slightly less bizarre because I’m not trying to figure out how to get as few calories as possible within a single snack.
  3. I can eat when I’m hungry. The first week of fasting, I was really hungry the whole morning, but my stomach is used to it now and I don’t get hungry until lunch and then I chow down unapologetically.
  4. Everything tastes so freaking good. Hunger really is the best flavoring. I bit into a strawberry when breaking my fast this afternoon and nearly had an orgasm. Who knew strawberries taste that delicious? I’m putting less salt and sugar on my food now, so that’s a bonus I wasn’t expecting. Added double-bonus: junk food tastes too junky to eat now.
  5. I can eat until I’m stuffed. This works because I feel stuffed so much sooner that “feeling stuffed” and “overeating” are no longer synonymous.
  6. I have a flat stomach. No explanation needed.
  7. I sleep like a rock. I mean, I don’t even remember falling asleep. I just lie down and zzzz… until I wake up before the alarm.
  8. It’s incredibly easy. It is soooooo much easier to just watch the clock than to track what you eat, measure portions, get nit-picky over ingredients or preparation, etc. Just eat whatever, but not whenever. I can do that.
  9. It scratches my Catholic-nerd itch. It’s Catholic saint inspired weight loss. Is there anything cooler than that? I feel like I’m connecting to my ancestors through my food intake. So awesome.
  10. I never have to stop. This isn’t just for weightloss, but forever. You just have to expand or contract the fasting period depending upon whether you want to lose or maintain your weight. I feel free, sort of how I felt when I gave up smoking.

I’ve kissed dieting goodbye!

Posted in: Homemaking