The last few marriage threads were about the importance of tingles. I heartily agree! Marrying someone who turns you on is more fun than marrying someone who does not turn you on, and having fun makes people happy. It just does, and I’m not discounting that.
But I disagree about the idea that those tingles are foundational to the success of the marriage. My own experience, and that of most of the women I know, and the divorce statistics, all support the idea that the most important thing to consider when selecting a spouse — other than making sure that they’re Christian — is money: how much they have, what they tend to do with it, and their ability to get more of it. This goes for both men and women, as spendthrift wives are a total PITA.
Economics is more important to marital success than romance. It’s a total daydream killer, but true fax are true fax. The number one predictor of marital dissolution is not lack-o-swagger, but arguing about finances. This is why most divorcées who remarry insist upon having separate bank accounts with their next spouse.
Just as all of us in the Happy Wives Club here married attractive men, we also married men with a steady income and/or a college degree. That’s not a coincidence. There is a direct correlation between income and divorce, and we need to be up front about that. Husbands are supposed to be providers (yes, even if she is also employed), and his ability and willingness to provide is an essential component of his fitness for marriage. Trust, but verify, on this one.
He may lose his job later, but at least he’s proven that he is able to get a job at all.